making changes

there are so many changes that I think about making in my life. I think I should start to eat healthier. I think I should work out. I think that I should quit those bad habits like smoking, drinking, biting my nails, etc. I think too much. These are not bad things to think about changing in my life, but the problem is getting them out of the thinking stage and into the doing. The other problem is that I refuse to say out loud that I'm taking them from thinking to action, because when I quit quitting or quit trying, which I tend to do, then its been said aloud and I become not only a quitter but a failure. So... follow the journey here... I'm not saying that thinking will become action, but at least you know that I'm not quitting on my annoying habit of over thinking... I'm thinking more and more each day!

yin yang

After witnessing the latest in a string of public displays of affection, I have really begun to believe that I am actually ready to put myself out there for a REAL relationship. No matter what I've said in the past, I don't really think that I actually wanted a relationship for a few years now. I've wanted companionship. I've wanted... ahem... benefits. I've even wanted a little romance here and there. But I don't think I've truly wanted a relationship since my failed engagement in 2005. Wow, has it really been that long? Yes... yes it has. To all of the failed crushes in the past five years, and the mistakes, and the flirtations... and for the benefit of my mother, who reads this blog, I'll stop with flirtations... It was something... but it wasn't real and I think I'm finally ready for REAL.

Now is the more complicated part.

Where, how, when can I find the yin to my yang, or the yang to my yin... pretty sure after a quick perusal of wikipedia that I'm looking for the yang to my yin. Regardless, I'm just hoping that he's just hanging around looking for me too. Okay, so I may sound like a sentimental fool, but in the end, those who know me best know that I really am... and not just the fool part.

Yang... can't wait to meet you, or if we've already met... can't wait to know you better.

water and bologna

I will have no water tomorrow starting at 8 am... this is not of any fault of mine, as in not paying bills or such... it is the water company working on a water main. How awful... everyone needs water for so many things... so this evening is filled with the plans for laundry, shower, etc.

On another note, the food network is doing some special on bologna sandwiches... from the production of bologna to the prodouction of wonder bread... and now I am craving... craving water and a bologna sandwich.

what a night....

chicken

Dinner tonight will be a Mango Honey Chicken with Parmesan Orzo. Accompanied with a tall glass of milk and a non-romantic fire with my platonic friend, Kyle... who also happens to be the chef.

got a phone call today about possible opportunities to further my career with the Fare... hmmmmm... was a little shocked and not ready for that phone call. Maybe I AM chicken?

the best worst day in history

Ever have one of those days? One of those days when it seems like EVERYTHING goes wrong? Mine began at 8 am when I awoke on a friend's couch coughing my lungs out trying to figure out why he called me at 6:45 am. It was quickly followed by my boss calling to tell me that one of my employees called out sick and I had to come in to work. I was there by 8:30, stayed until 3:00, came back at 5:30 to close the store, and finally left the building at midnight. MIDNIGHT!!! The closing left a lot to be desired... however, I do not keep this blog to simply bitch about work. Are you wondering yet why this is titled my best worst day ever? well, as the day has unfolded, I reiterate what I said in my previous blog... I am exactly where I am supposed to be in life. I could bitch about my job all day long, but in the end, I LOVE IT. Truly, I am good at what I do and it fulfills something in me I didn't know existed. Is my job like a lover to me? I know that sounds a little pathetic, but think about it. A lover gives such joy, such elation... fulfills needs that you may not have known you had. You want to be with your lover when you are away, and think about them often. You obsess over ways to return the favor to your lover, ways to keep them as happy as you are. You bitch and moan about their faults and moments when they piss you off, but you'll always go back. We don't complain about the things or people who aren't important to us... because it doesn't matter... they don't matter. When I am off on a rant about something, I know it must mean something to me. So, while work is not actually my lover... and hopefully 2010 will bring one of those... the metaphor will remain... work is my lover... the lover who can make even the worst day, the best.

010110... binary code for Happy New Year...

It is a new year... and new decade. I'm in a new city, with a new job... I have new friends, new co-workers, new apartment... okay, I'm sure you get the idea... Now that I have daily access to internet again, y'all get to hear my rambling on a much more regular basis. For those who've known me for a while, you might recall that a few years ago, I lost my groove... well, stella's got it back... actually KayRok's got it back. I feel genuinely good... great actually. I love my job... Earth Fare is the closest I've come to feeling like I'm exactly where I am supposed to be, doing exactly what I'm supposed to do. The two friends that I've made here in the Noog are pretty awesome... we're sort of a big deal, the cool kids. My apartment will eventually be rockin... as soon as I actually set it up. All in all, I am good, great, happy, fantastic. So for those who've worried for a few years... it is what it is and its all good.