lighten up.

I figure that I need to lighten up. Sure, everything has been a little heavy lately... but I'm fairly certain that I am not, nor have I ever been, the type of person who allows the "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" to dictate how I feel about life. No more dwelling on things I can't change or worrying about tomorrow. No more sighing and crying about feeling cursed. Ok... well, I might still sigh and cry... but for tonight, I wanna lighten up.

The other night, I was plagued with intermittent sleep and bad dreams. They were the kind of dreams that you actually dream about waking up, and you are in the room you are sleeping in, but you are still dreaming... so it takes you a while to really figure out that the weird crap that is happening really isn't happening. Now, this was not pleasant at the time, but when I was telling the story to a friend about how I looked over at the door and saw my pillow dancing and taunting me by laughing at me, even I could find the humor in that. I guess I always have had a vivid imagination.

Speaking of imagination... when I was young, my brothers and their friends would all play dungeons and dragons. Now, I've never been a great judge of what is cool or not, and this was no exception. I wanted more than anything to be able to play. However, we were way past the point where it was cool for my brothers to play games with their snotty little sister, so they told me I couldn't play because I had no imagination. Thank you for lying to me... I might have turned out to be an even bigger nerd than I already am.

I have given in to my nerdishness... and yes, from hence forth, nerdishness will be an official word. I have now watched every episode of Stargate (SG-1, Atlantis, and Universe), I have seen the movies, I have seen every episode of Farscape and the Peacekeeper Wars movie. As a child I, of course, saw all the Star Wars movies. My last shred of non-nerdishness dignity is that I have not gotten sucked into the world of Star Trek... although I would not be surprised if that happens soon. After that, I give in... who knows, maybe I'll go to a Comicon... if Michael Shanks is there that is... ugh... I am a nerd.